Friday, June 24, 2005

Beware...very long posting..

Ok, i am so frustrated right now, i had to get it all out. my stomach is in knots. i have had a terrible morning with jordan. and this potty training issue has me at my wits end...i am just soooo tired of the pee smell in my house, pee on all of the boys' clothes, poop in underwaer that so bad i end up having to just throw the underwaer out. (waste of $$, i know but you try washing out poopy underwear...)

so, nicki has suggested that maybe hes not ready? at first i was in denial (i admit it...) hoping that maybe it would just "click" with jordan one day (soon) but its been 6 weeks and still, our house reaks of pee (no matter how much you scrub the carpet, couch, floors, bedding, ect...it still smells) i am coming to the realization that maybe hes just not ready. he is only two (3 in july) but a very immature two year old at that. (mentally)

so, for other families that wouldnt be a big deal. just let him wear diapers. but if i do that that effects our whole next year. if he is not potty trained then that means that i cannot work next year at their preschool. he has to be potty trained in order for me to work there (because he will be in the 3 yr old class).

so, where am i? right back where i was last november. i have been dealing with this issue for way too long. WHERE WILL WE FINALLY END UP????? i had jacob enrolled in the best school in town. but things happened and now we cant afford it. (that crushes me, because education wise i think that is the absolute best place for him) but thats a big big bill that we cannot afford and you cant even try to get scholarships till kindergarten. the monthly bill for 12 months is 366 a month and they have already sent the first bill out for next year. so i unenrolled him and i got that job in oakland. (boys would go free, and i would just have to get a sitter for emma.) great.... had the sitter, but now shes preg. how is she going to watch emma? i doubt she will want to. everything is going wrong that could go. no baby sitter, jordans not potty trained, car issues.....

will i regret just putting jacob in a preschool down the road that i know nothing about for a few days a week? and letting jordan stay home for the year? will matt let me?

look at things now i think maybe i was rushing the whole working thing. my kids are still young. i think it would be easier if i didnt have to have child care for emma and if jordan was totally potty trained.

all matt cares about is the money. he doesnt care what type of education the kids get or where they get it from. that is right now the most important thing to me. i want my kids to go to a good school. and i hate that hes not supportive at all. he sees $$ signs and thats it. ugh i wish money wasnt an issue..............

i dont know what to do...why is parenting so hard???? this has to have been the hardest issue that we have come upon yet. putting your child in school should be the easiest thing. not for me...i have been scouting out schools for how many months????? i know people think i am nuts too...i know your thinking.."its not college for petes sakes!!!! its PRESCHOOL!!!" BUT its still important to ME. ugh, i am not going to look forward to college searching with my kids..i will be a complete reck!

maybe i just need someone to tell me what to do. (preferabley not dh cuz he just wants me to work lol)

sorry to be such a downer....but i had to get my thoughts out.

5 comments:

  1. It'll be okay Tara. The more you push the potty issue... well you don't want to have a Zach do you? Maybe it is too soon for you to go to work. Can you talk to the preschool about the potty training issues? Maybe they can help you. Giant (((hugs))) though.

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  2. Girl, don't you fret. It will all work out. It may not seem it right now but it will. I so wish money wasn't an issue but our society doesn't work otherwise I guess. {{{{hugs}}} girl. Do whats best for you!

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  3. {{{HUGS}}} I wish I could help but my kids weren't out of diapers/pullups until at least 3 yrs, closer to 4.

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  4. I found with my middle son, the harder I pushed for him to be potty trained, the harder he pushed back. For him it was a control issue. He trained just like that when he was ready. As Nicki said, it will all work out for the best. They always do.

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  5. Oh Tara I feel for you! Potty training can be such a hard time. I think Nicki's right...maybe he's not ready yet. Don't push yourself so hard hon.
    As for the school issue, I'm sure no matter what school he goes to he'll be just fine as long as he has good support & encouragement at home...and he definitely looks like he has that.

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