New Birthday PJ's 

Update

well dh and i went to check out that preschool and it looks really nice. its a spanking new building. so, we have decided to enroll jacob in that school and leave jordan out of school. i hope jordan is ok with that since he was used to going to school last year (he loved going)

oh and good news! i have lost 5 pounds in 4 days!!!

Beware...very long posting..

Ok, i am so frustrated right now, i had to get it all out. my stomach is in knots. i have had a terrible morning with jordan. and this potty training issue has me at my wits end...i am just soooo tired of the pee smell in my house, pee on all of the boys' clothes, poop in underwaer that so bad i end up having to just throw the underwaer out. (waste of $$, i know but you try washing out poopy underwear...)

so, nicki has suggested that maybe hes not ready? at first i was in denial (i admit it...) hoping that maybe it would just "click" with jordan one day (soon) but its been 6 weeks and still, our house reaks of pee (no matter how much you scrub the carpet, couch, floors, bedding, ect...it still smells) i am coming to the realization that maybe hes just not ready. he is only two (3 in july) but a very immature two year old at that. (mentally)

so, for other families that wouldnt be a big deal. just let him wear diapers. but if i do that that effects our whole next year. if he is not potty trained then that means that i cannot work next year at their preschool. he has to be potty trained in order for me to work there (because he will be in the 3 yr old class).

so, where am i? right back where i was last november. i have been dealing with this issue for way too long. WHERE WILL WE FINALLY END UP????? i had jacob enrolled in the best school in town. but things happened and now we cant afford it. (that crushes me, because education wise i think that is the absolute best place for him) but thats a big big bill that we cannot afford and you cant even try to get scholarships till kindergarten. the monthly bill for 12 months is 366 a month and they have already sent the first bill out for next year. so i unenrolled him and i got that job in oakland. (boys would go free, and i would just have to get a sitter for emma.) great.... had the sitter, but now shes preg. how is she going to watch emma? i doubt she will want to. everything is going wrong that could go. no baby sitter, jordans not potty trained, car issues.....

will i regret just putting jacob in a preschool down the road that i know nothing about for a few days a week? and letting jordan stay home for the year? will matt let me?

look at things now i think maybe i was rushing the whole working thing. my kids are still young. i think it would be easier if i didnt have to have child care for emma and if jordan was totally potty trained.

all matt cares about is the money. he doesnt care what type of education the kids get or where they get it from. that is right now the most important thing to me. i want my kids to go to a good school. and i hate that hes not supportive at all. he sees $$ signs and thats it. ugh i wish money wasnt an issue..............

i dont know what to do...why is parenting so hard???? this has to have been the hardest issue that we have come upon yet. putting your child in school should be the easiest thing. not for me...i have been scouting out schools for how many months????? i know people think i am nuts too...i know your thinking.."its not college for petes sakes!!!! its PRESCHOOL!!!" BUT its still important to ME. ugh, i am not going to look forward to college searching with my kids..i will be a complete reck!

maybe i just need someone to tell me what to do. (preferabley not dh cuz he just wants me to work lol)

sorry to be such a downer....but i had to get my thoughts out.

My goal is to look good in THIS

This just happens to be my brand new bathing suit (tankini) i LOVE it. but, i of course look SO fat in it. we are supposed to be going to the pool tomorrow and i all i can think of is people staring at my cottage cheese legs! (BLEH)

i did really well today on my "diet". you never realize HOW MUCH you really eat (especially carbs) until you cant have any.... for instance, giving the kids their food: while passing it down the table eating a piece of chicken nugget, or passing their happy meals to the back seat and taking a few fries, opening a box of cheez-its and taking a handfull out. by the end of the day you will have accumulated a whole nother meal just by eating from the kids! i hate this type of "uncontious" eating AND that is why i am fat. i hate that i have eaten things without even thinking twice about it.... walking by the brownies and steeling a bite, opening the fridge to get a soda and taking a bite of something else.....its ridiculous!

today i did really well on my no carbs. i snacked on carrots and for lunch i had lunchmeat (chicken) with cheese and some broc, cawli, and carrots with a glass of water. then for dinner i had steak-ums with grilled onions and mushrooms with swiss cheese on top. its was pretty darn good!

i cant wait to see some results. i am doing so much better than the last time i tried this (although it had to be the absolute worst time,....right smack dab in the MIDDLE of 3 hurricanes) theres not much non refridgerated foods that dont have carbs in it! so i am pretty proud of myself.....even if it is only day two (hehe).

so, here is a LO i did today on my goals. they say:
I want to have a lot of energy to burn, and to be able to keep up with my kids.
I would love to loose at least a good 50 pounds, and not gain it all back.
I desperately want to look and feel good in my brand new bathing suit.

well, lets see..

we'll see how long this lasts....today, i decided to join my friend and do the no carb diet for at least two weeks. aftet the two weeks we will add all fruits and whole grain breads.

the triple chocolate brownie has been screaming my name all day! oh, and the pretzels that jacob was eating....ugh...im so hungry!

Fathers Day

Today, i am celebrating the father of my children. He is a wonderful man, dh, provider, lover, and the never ending list goes on and on. i just cant get over how unselfish he is. he works 70 hours a week and never complains once about having to work. how does he do it? lol maybe that its he would rather be at work then to deal with the kids all the time lol. (wouldnt it be interesting to switch places for a week?) he works because he loves his family and he works to provide for us. i know that i would not be able to do what he does.
here is Dh and our kiddos:


in honor of fathers day i will leave you with this LO that i did a few weeks ago. (hehe)


here is the journaling:
I have struggled with something for some time now. I have been battling my feelings about not having a father. I know, things could be worse and my father could have died when I was young, or something tragic like that. But I think knowing that my father is alive and not in my life is worse then him not being on this earth at all, especially when he lives less than an hour away. Knowing that I have been abandoned is the worst feeling in the world. My biological father pretty much abandoned me. He never wanted anything to do with me and I feel like when he was with me he was forced. Of course everything has always been *MY* fault for the way things have turned out. It’s my fault that I never called him, or saw him. And it’s now *MY* fault that he hasn’t seen his grandkids but a few times. How does a person deal with the blame that their father has put on them like that? As of the past couple of years I have decided I have no father. And just in the past six months I have finally accepted the fact that I do not need the blame, guilt or stress in my life that he has put me through, especially for my children’s sake. I don’t want them to grow up thinking it was THEIR fault that they didn’t get to see Grandpa, just like he did to me.
Yes, it is heartbreaking when my son asks me, “Mommy, who is my Grandpa?” and I simply have to say, “I don’t know.”
In my mind, I have no father.

Green with envy!

i am so green right now! my sisters just came to show off their brand new cars. they each got 2005 tiburons fully loaded! i have NEVER had a brand new car before, i definately am wanting a new one now! ahhh if only i could fit three kids in a sports car lol.

here they are:

Amanda


Melinda


ahhh...to be a teenager again.... lol

eek! why is it...

ok, why is it i join Ro's weight loss challenge today at CSI and after dinner i go to starbucks and have a java chip frap and a krispy kreme donut? and then on the way home snack on some of my friends fries??? what is wrong with me? i am out of control. lol why do i have a feeling i will gain more weight just because i am going a weight LOSS challenge? ugh...i am not good with "diets", can you tell??? lol

wowsers!

O M G!!!! have you seen Jessica Simpsons new video?? WOW. Just WOW.
Check it out!

How am i going to make it?

how am i going to make it all summer long with the kids? today was horrible. just jordan alone did so many things today he kept me constantly GOING. first, this morning he got a double dozen of eggs out of the fridge. i am sure you already know what he did.... yup, he dropped it. crushes most of the eggs in it. (great, that was supposed to be supper one night).

Then he preceded to poop in his pants. (gross) in the shower he goes for the 5th time today...... along with the usual fighting, running around, messes, and more fighting he also dumped out a BRAND NEW bottle of shampoo. we hadnt even used it yet. i dont know what it is with him and soaps...but he seems to think he HAS to dump all of them out. everytime i get a brand new bottle of dish soap, right down the drain it goes. Never fails. well i know i am in for it with DH this time. because he knew i bought it the other day at the store, and when he goes to wash his hair in the morning he will ask "where is the brand new bottle of shampoo?" (ugh, i think i will sleep in tomorrow...)

so, it doesnt end there. hes on his 6th or 7th shower today (by this time i have lost track) and he hangs on the shower curtain (i guess he thinks he is tarzan) and totally BENDS the metal rod and then it comes crashing down on poor emma.

i think i need to get a summer job!

Pure Heaven

So, i was feeling a bit sorry for myself being stuck with the kids all night again, while dh is in Tampa to see the Glenn Beck show with FIL. i loaded up the kids and headed for blockbuster. as i was loading them all back in the car (ugh loading and unloading is SUCH a chore..) i glanced over at baskin robbins. hmm...that sounded sooooo good. i am now enjoying heaven! there is no other ice cream sunday that even compares to theirs. i ordered kiddy scoops for the boys (chocolate with sprinkles) and a two scoop sundae for me (one scoop jamocha almond fudge and one scoop choc, with hot fudge, whip cream, nuts and cherry). YUM!


we are debating on going to Universal- Islands of Adventure tomorrow since dh is off of work. we'll see....

My Girl

i thought i would post this LO i just did. This is the shirt that i bought with the gift card that a good friend of mine gave me.(thanks mel!!)
yes, you guessed it. its a gymboree outfit. (shocker, huh?) i am totally addicted to gymboree. probably half of dd's wardrobe is gymboree.

i cant get over how grown up dd is looking. and i absolutely cant believe that she is a year old already. where has the time gone???

in the LO i used elements by rhonna farrer from two peas and the fonts are Centry Gothic and CBX lable maker.

btw- THANKS gale for the cd you sent me!!!! :) you rock!!!

Unusual Sunday

Usually my Sundays are my most boringest day! I have always hated Sundays because my DH works from the time i get out of bed in the morning till about ten in the evening. the kids dont ge to to see him at all. to make matters worse, i am without a car also. well today was an unusual sunday! i actually enjoyed my day pretty well. my sister came over at about noon and highlighted my hair and even cut it. she did a really good job. i was looking pretty shabby and needed to do something about the mop on my head. when we were done my mom took us all out for dinner. we went to pizza hut and ate for pretty cheap :) lol i know this doesnt seem like a very exciting day to others, but i was grateful lol. my sundays are usually pretty lonely.

Well, it's here.

Hurricane season is here and ready to go. Would'nt it be great if we were? I see that there is already a tropical storm brewing out there. It's not expected to turn into a hurricane (thats good) but we will still get some really bad weather tonight. (Oh Joy!)

I am so not ready to be boarding up the windows, going without power, spending a ton of money on supplies (of course we have nothing so far, surprise surprise, i know.... leave it to us to be last minute).

I really feel bad for the people that still havent recovered from last season. I was watching the news the other day and it showed a house that it looked like the roof was about to cave in. On the outside the roof was covered with tarps (which does nothing when we have been having the weather that we have had lately) and from the inside of the house there was no ceiling. It had all rotted away and you could see the trusses(sp?). I felt so bad for the poor old lady that lived there. She had a few contractors come out to give her a quote. Everyone of them measured it and said they would get back with her and never called. Probably because it would be such a big job. Insead, they are busy ripping people off to do the smaller jobs.

ahhh....so it has begun... just one of the joys of living in Florida....

let me ride!

So, I too decided to jump on the band wagon... here it is, my boring blog!!! Just beware, I am a horrible writer!