Wednesday, February 09, 2011

A Crazy-busy thing Called Life

From my post on facebook on 2-3-11. Just in case you missed it.....
After much thought and prayer, i made the decision (one of the hardest decisions ever) that it would be best for me to be a stay at home mom for at least a couple years.  
I had not made my decision until yesterday and It was not clear to me that it was the right decision, until abt 2:00 pm yesterday afternoon. i can see now, that this is the direction that God is leading me in. I often question why things happen but as i sit back and think about the recent things that have happened i can see His hands at work in every part of it. His plan becomes more and more clear to me every day. 
Everyone knows how much i love my job and why this has been such a hard decision for me. There has never been a day where i woke up and said "ugh i dont want to go to work". I love what i do and the people i work with.
These next 6 weeks will be very bitter-sweet for me for many reasons, but i know that i need to do whats best for my children.
I am not sure what God has in store for me years down the road but i can hope that Kellys will be in the plans at some point. I dont want to say good bye to kellys, instead i want to say "see you later".   :)
 
2-7-11- "Mommy, I liked it when you weren't working....you weren't so stressed out all the time, and you always had a smile on your face." --my kids.

So, I guess they are saying I am kinda a grouch!? lol. It is a bit stressful to get up at 4:45 am, get all of us ready for school and work, out the door by 6am, kids dropped off at the Rec Center by 6:30 and to the babysitters house to drop off the baby. I make it to work by 7:15 or so. I get off around 4:30-5:00, head to the babysitters house, then to the rec center to get the kids and fight traffic all the way home. I usually do not make it home till around 6:30pm or after.  I take the dogs out, get the baby's diaper bag ready for the next day, wash bottles, make the kids dinner, clean up a little bit, do home work with Jordan and Emma, take a shower and sometimes I am able to make it to bed by 9pm. (on a good night) There is no quality time spent with the kids at all (other than doing homework). Life was crazy and fast paced before the baby and now it's out of control, busy! And it doesn't help that Gabe is only home a couple of hours total during the week.

I have 5 more weeks until i stop working, and life will settle down a bit. I am still so nervous about my decision to stay home, but i need to keep trusting God. It wouldn't be such a hard decision if I didn't love my job so much. Not many people can say that they absolutely love their job like i do; BUT time with my kids is much more valuable and, that is what i keep reminding myself. Hopefully something will work out where i can still keep my job part time and then go back to full time in a few years.

Here are a few Little Things for today.

1. Sitting by Don at work and listening to his crazy rants and raves, he is SO funny!
2. Emma's "i love you"notes to me.
3. Still learning new things at work even though i am leaving.
4. Emma reading the baby numerous books after a long day of school and "daycare". And keeping the baby busy for a bit while i get things done around the house.
5. My mommy's love, help and support over these last few tough months. I wouldn't have made it without her help. Thank you, Mommy!
6. Big smiles from my baby boy.   
7. Gail being Gail.
8. "ahhh, Mommy!!! Norton keeps updating my computer while i am trying to do stuff!!!!" -Jacob. "Ummm, WHO is Norton?? Some guy???" --Emma.
9. Jacob's vocabulary. The words he uses shocks me sometimes.. lol he is too smart!
10. The "punch bug" bug game. Emma never plays and never really pays attention to the game, and all of a sudden one day she blurted out so loud "punch bug, punch bug, punch bug!!!!!!!!!" and got all three of the punch bugs that the boys fight over everyday on Story Road. The car was so quiet until she shouted out punch bug. It was like she had just caught on to the game after all these months of the boys playing EVERYDAY!

1 comment: